11 sentences intelligent people don’t use
Many people consider the intelligence quotient (IQ) to be the sole measure of intelligence. IQ tests examine general knowledge and the ability to think logically. However, the IQ alone is not enough to be successful in life, be it privately or professionally. The emotional quotient (EQ) also plays an important role here. This is the ability to empathize with others and understand their true feelings as well as one's own. People with high emotional intelligence tend to be more popular, more successful and resilient.
A low EQ, on the other hand, leads all too often to people putting their foot in their mouth! These people frequently use one or more of the following sentences:
1. "Wow, you've lost so much weight!"
Supposed to be a compliment, right? Well, not really. If someone is told they look thinner (and supposedly better) now, it can evoke memories of their "heavier days." It might remind them of harsh comments they received in the past about their weight, and lower their self-esteem, even if they don't look that way anymore. This is all the more important to keep in mind when someone is still trying to reach their ideal size and is not quite their yet.
It would be much better to say something like, "You look great!" That way, the person will not be forced to make a mental comparison of how they are now and how they were before.
2. "You look tired."
Even if the person you're addressing really does look tired, this comment won't make them feel any better. In fact, it will most likely have the opposite effect: a tired person often has dark rings underneath their eyes, looks pale and generally worn out — not really an image of beauty. No one wants to hear that they look like they're at the end of their strength!
It would be much nicer to ask: "Are you feeling ok?" This way you are showing a genuine interest in the person's health and not just simply asking,"how are you," which is mainly just used as a courtesy.
3. "As I've already explained, ..."
Sound familiar? You have to repeat something for the second or even third time, which can be quite annoying. You might not be able to help yourself when you come out with this passive-aggressive line, which is understandable, but you'll find that it makes you rather unpopular. We all forget things from time to time and it could be that you may not have expressed yourself clearly in the first place. Either way, try and make yourself understood. Just say it a bit louder than usual when repeating what you've already said, that way you'll avoid any misunderstandings.
4. "It's not my fault."
Nobody's perfect, we all make mistakes once in a while. But a great many individuals like to cover up their own mistakes. They are reluctant to admit any kind of fault in front of others. If someone points out the mistake, they use excuses and explanations to justify themselves or point out why others or certain circumstances are to blame rather than themselves.
You will only be able to learn from your mistakes and develop as a person, if you accept criticism. The circumstances are never going to be perfect, so you will be a bigger person for admitting to your own faults.
5. "You look great for your age."
Try not to put your foot in it with this one! While it might seem like a compliment, saying the person has aged well, the whole mentioning of age is inappropriate. So just shorten it to, "You look great!" You'll see how this line, by contrast, will win you lots of brownie points!
6. "Good luck!"
There's nothing wrong with wishing somebody good luck, except for the fact that the upcoming activities aren't a matter of luck at all — rather knowledge and skill. Why not replace it with something like, "You'll manage fine" or "I know you can do it!" This will help give the person you're talking to the confidence boost they need and can in fact have a decisive influence on the respective success or failure.
7. "That's not fair."
The world is full of injustices and if we let it affect us, we would be upset all the time. Unfortunately, complaining doesn't help anyone and it certainly doesn't change the situation. All it does is make you the victim, which doesn't exactly project an image of independence and maturity. What's more, your constant complaining tends to have a knock-on effect on others, creating a bad mood all around you. In turn, this will make others distance themselves from you rather than warm to you.
If things bother you that you are able to change, then do something about it. If you can't change the situation, you should maybe just accept that in this particular instance you are not entitled to justice. It's harsh but life is not always fair — but not just for you. Just make sure that in your immediate surroundings things are fair and just. Instead of whining and moaning, just try and focus on the positives.
8. "I've got a stupid question."
There is no such thing as a stupid question — wrong again, of course there is! There are all kinds of questions that indicate a lack of intelligence. However, if you judge your own question right away, that automatically shows little self-confidence, plus the person you are talking to might not take the question seriously after that.
Even if you're ashamed of your question, you should ask it confidently. At the end of the day, it's always best to ask if you are uncertain about something so as to avoid misunderstandings or doing the wrong tasks.
9. "You were too good for him anyway."
You were never particularly keen on your friend's boyfriend and so when they break up this sentence slips out in an attempt to comfort and cheer up the person left heartbroken. It's actually completely out of place though, as it basically implies your friend has poor taste in men.
Instead of indirectly telling your friend she completely wasted her time, opt for a more uplifting alternative instead. Tell her: "He's lost a truly wonderful person with you."
10. "You always/never/continuously ..."
If someone has repeatedly shown undesirable behavior, many people tend to generalize. During arguments or disputes, these kinds of sentences get thrown around even if they are quite far from the truth: "You never empty the dishwasher" or "I always have to pick the kids up from school" and "You continuously leave your dirty socks lying around." When you exaggerate in such a manner you come across as quite petty and hysterical. It also makes the person you are attacking become defensive, creating a rift between you.
Avoid making sweeping statements and generalizations by merely pointing out that an undesirable behavior has occurred several times. It's also always best to refer your criticism to the current situation. Nobody is capable of changing what they did in the past anyway.
11. "I just told you that."
Nobody likes a know-it-all and it can make you quickly unpopular. Being lectured is not a pleasant experience for anyone and more often than not, people have to make mistakes to be able to learn and develop personally.
Instead of shooting off a line like this, take a minute to understand what made the person do what they did in the first place. It's much more effective and amiable if someone shows empathy and can put themselves in the other person's shoes rather than being condescending.
So are you more the compassionate type or the sort of person who condemns others quickly? Either way, each and everyone of us has the capacity to work on and improve our EQ skills. This can be done by being more self-confident, more committed to achieving goals and expanding our social skills.
Ultimately, you will feel a greater sense of satisfaction with yourself, it will help you get along better with others and most likely even make you more successful in your job. It definitely pays to invest a little more time in personal development.