The 10 most common reasons for why people get divorced
When two people decide to tie the knot, they rarely contemplate the fact that the knot may become loose over the years or even unknot completely. It is a sad realization but in the U.S. 50% of marriages result in divorce.
But what are the most common reasons why people get divorced?
1. Lack of communication
Many couples go on living side-by-side without really communicating with each other. Enjoying common activities or having heartfelt conversations with one other is something quite rare. Instead he prefers to go out with his buddies for drinks and she focuses her time and efforts on her children or girlfriends. The danger here is that instead of growing together, a couple is far more likely to grow apart.
2. Differences in opinion about finances
If a couple agrees that money is irrelevant and love is all that matters then they are truly committed to their proclamation of, "for richer or for poorer." However, it can arise in relationships that one person is more of a saver and the other more of a spender. If this is not clear from the outset, differences in opinion about money can cause a rift in a marriage. It's best to clear this matter up before exchanging vows.
3. Not marrying for love
Whether it was a shotgun wedding, a marriage of convenience or an arranged set-up, if love is not the main reason then this could be detrimental for the couple right from the get-go. Because when the going gets tough, it is usually love that makes the couple fight to stay together.
4. Constant nagging
Of course, you don't have to love everything your partner does or doesn't do. From time to time a little criticism can help your spouse to improve certain aspects of a relationship. But if the nagging takes over, the exact opposite can happen: the person being criticized might no longer feel valued and the couple may drift apart as a result. That's why it's so important to focus on positive aspects about your partner and not save on compliments.
5. Lack of intimacy
This is a very common issue in failing marriages. Feeling connected to your partner on a mental level is very important but physical intimacy is just as crucial in keeping a marriage healthy and strong. If your libido doesn't match that of your partner's, this could be a recipe for a disaster. Speak openly about your desires and find ways to keep your level of attraction to one another strong. Feeling loved is wonderful but feeling loved and wanted intimately by your partner is what will keep you united.
Infidelity is the number one cause of divorce but that doesn't really come as a surprise. It is natural for couples to let their eyes wander from time to time but acting on this impulse is what will cause irreparable damage in most cases. Look for warning signs in your marriage before it gets to this stage and try and make corrections in your relationship to avoid being unfaithful to one another.
7. Midlife crisis
A midlife crisis is a common occurrence in individuals (mostly men) who reach the age of 40 - 50 years. They have accomplished what they wanted to career-wise, the children are out of the house and all the couple is left with is their everyday lives and routines. This is when some people begin to panic and want to feel young and alive again. It can often lead to infidelity, but a divorce might also come about as a result of far-reaching changes in lifestyles and or new values.
8. Social media jealousy
Recent studies have shown social media platforms, specifically Facebook, to have detrimental effects on relationships that have not "matured," meaning that have not yet lasted three years or longer. Issues of partners scanning each other's Facebook activity, feelings of jealousy and mistrust are amongst the main problems associated with social media-related activity.
9. Emotional and physical abuse
Respect is a must in any relationship. Just knowing your partner listens to your concerns or takes it onboard when you feel hurt or undervalued can help secure a happy marriage. But if this is lacking and is instead replaced with emotional or even physical abuse, help should be sought immediately.
10. Mental problems
Gambling addictions, alcohol problems, depression and other mental illnesses can be a huge burden on a relationship. If the person acts self-destructively, this behavior can also become unbearable for the spouse. Therefore, psychological problems should by no means be taken lightly — not only for the sake of relationship but also for the affected individual. Relatives should encourage the person to seek medical or psychological help. However, therapy won't do much good, unless the person is wanting to change for the better.
While divorce is often associated with one or more of the above listed points, it doesn't necessarily mean these things have to end in a failed marriage. Pay attention to the warning signs and try and make changes early on before it's too late. Divorce is rarely a pleasant experience and can lead to feelings of solitude and failure, financial loss and less contact with the children. Ideally, help is sought before things get bad. If we're prepared to listen and change, the daunting statistic of half our nation divorcing might see a turn for the better.